Contrary to popular belief, there is no perfect relationship. Just as there are good and bad days in life, so it is with relationships. Being in a relationship with another person involves two completely different people trying to become one. Even though all relationships are unique, there are some pointers that can help you decide if yours is a great relationship. Here are ten of them. Enjoy!
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1) A great relationship is built on trust.
Great relationships involve two people who completely trust each other, regardless of what has happened in the past. Most not-so-good relationships you’ll come across have one thing in common which is a lack of trust. Trusting your significant other means you know they are faithful to you even when you aren’t together. It also means not having the desire to go through their phone, email or Facebook account due to a sense of mistrust. One more thing, trusting each other completely also means you both do not have a secret “B-plan” (an ex- or a potential partner) lurking around somewhere.
2) Both parties are compatible.
Two people are compatible when they both share similar opinions on the issues that matter the most to them. When two people’s choices, tendencies and values naturally align, these two can be said to be compatible. Yes, this also includes finishing off each other’s sentences and knowing what the other is thinking. It also helps when the couple has similar personalities. Of course “opposite attracts” still works for many couples. But there may be more challenges when the two individuals are extremely different.
Professor in Psychology, Dr. John Gottman and his partner Robert Levenson found in a study that 69% of relationship problems never get solved. Instead, they are “perpetual” due to personality differences between the partners. As such, it can help to have similar personalities as the couple tend to think similarly, even when it comes to finding solutions.
3) You can’t wait to be around each other.
The first few days, weeks or months of a relationship are usually characterised by an endless desire to be with your partner. Both parties enjoy each other’s company so much that they look forward to being together. You are a loving couple and at the same time the best of friends. If after this length of time, you still have this feeling, know that it is an important ingredient to a great relationship.
4) You can talk about anything and everything.
This is a rare quality that only a handful of couples can boast of. If you and your partner can tell each other everything including your past, hurts, bad habits, health issues, failures, successes, preferences, fears and other sensitive topics, you too are likely great together! More often than not, most couples feel it’s safer to hold back some things and spill others. If you and your partner can tell each other every single thing, you are in a great relationship.
5) You deal with conflict immediately.
Being in a great relationship doesn’t mean you’ll never quarrel. You are both human, so you will. It only means you deal with them immediately. If you never allow a misunderstanding sit on the back burner, you sort things out and immediately and completely forgive each other, you are in a great relationship. The ability to mutually forgive repeatedly is one quality that few couples can boast of.
6) You inspire one another to be the best you can be.
An important ingredient in great relationships is the ability to motivate and inspire one another. Both parties should inspire each other to not only be the best possible version of themselves but to run away from mediocrity. A great partner should believe in you and express it as often as possible and in every way possible.
7) You both pay attention to each other.
A great relationship involves two people who over time keeps observing and studying each other, hence can predict each other’s actions and reactions. If you and your partner know when the other is moody, depressed, anxious, excited, tired or needs a break; then you are in a great relationship.
8) You aren’t out to change each other.
Songwriter and singer Bruno Mars told us in the Billboard chart-topping single, “you’re amazing, just the way you are.” A common problem in relationships is that the partners constantly seek to change each other. In a great relationship, you love and accept each other for who you are regardless of flaws and imperfections. Neither party is out to fix or change the other. Yes, you encourage your partner to be the best they can be, but you also totally accept who they are right now.
9) You are there for each other.
When you can run to your partner and know he/she will support you, you know you are in a great relationship. You help each other stand even in the toughest times. You both feel and share the emotions together- regardless if it’s positive or negative.
10) Your relationship has stood the test of time.
A great relationship is one that blooms and grows over time. Romance and fun is still part of your daily lives together. If you and your partner have been together for a while and you are waxing stronger, know that you are definitely in a great relationship.